The loneliness of leadership

There is one topic leaders don’t discuss out loud. Not money, not power, not layoffs.

Loneliness.

You can’t talk to your team - you are their anchor, and anchors don’t complain. You can’t talk to your board - they evaluate. With a business partner it’s complicated: they have their own fears, and yours might detonate together. At home you could - but at home you want to be a partner and a parent, not to bring in the war with the board of directors.

What you get is a person who makes decisions for hundreds of people - and has nowhere to unpack their own head.

I know this state from the inside. Seventeen years in corporations, teams of up to three hundred people. The hardest decisions I made in complete silence - not because I was so strong, but because I saw nowhere to go with them.

Now I’m the person people come to with this. And here is what I see: leaders don’t need motivational speakers or «leadership upgrades». They need a place where, for one hour a week, they don’t have to be strong. Where you can say «I don’t know», «I’m scared», «I’m tired» - and the world doesn’t collapse, and the stock doesn’t drop.

Sounds simple. In my experience, it’s one of the hardest things for a person used to carrying everything alone.

If you just recognized yourself - the bad news: it won’t dissolve on its own. The good news: it’s workable. One hour a week, out loud, with someone who can hold it.